♫ Sylvester

Woohoo.. Finally the moment is so so... bright... i'm reaching it.. after 2 years of fun... laughters... pain.. sweats.. bloods.. i won't really say it's a waste of time.. ok.. BMT wasn't a waste of time.. but it's the vocation you're being posted after BMT.. maybe mine is really a total waste of time then.. haha..

Ok.. make it fair.. i learned how to deal with different people? Lead a group? Learned fishing?  It's really fun!! The fishes there are seriously shit fish man... They literally eat anything.. even with a piece of bread... i could hook a fish up.. well.. i'm not trying to being a saddist here.. but it's seriously fun and exciting when the long wait is over and suddenly you feel a bite! And as you pull.. you feel the struggle!! You get so excited to see what you've caught... it's just so fun!

8 more days to my freedom... man.. this is the time... the moment... where every man looks forward to! Looking back at the times where we first used to start off as a young chap... who knows nothing.. but... games? Haha... enlist and handle guns.. grenades... it's like Counter-Strike come alive! Or Black Shot? hahah.. Coolness.. You learn to see things differently in every different perspective... you get to think about your future... plan it... unfortunately some ingrates still never learn even after enlisting... but well.. life isn't it? Haha...

I'm just thankful to God... who held me through these 2 years... providing for me.. Right now.. i'm on a job hunting spree... I'm trying to look for a full time job that does a 5 day/week... just don't touch my saturdays!! Cause if my saturdays are also burned.. that i see no point in living my life fruitfully anymore.. It's the only day.. where i get to come in contact with real friends... brothers and sisters.. a day to relieve stress.. haha..

Yea.. i love my brothers and sisters in church!! You guys.. are just so awesome.. i couldn't ask for more that i pray you guys will always be strong!!! =D

Lord, you saw that? Heard that? Felt that? I'm sure you do... cause before i felt that, you have already felt that thousand years ago. Although they didn't say it straight forward... but i could tell the mockery behind their sentences... I know i have screwed my life up, I know my education status is like the lowest of the lowest.. and the things i've done to screw myself up in my younger days has to be paid with hefty prices in the future and now...

Lord.. i feel so beaten down by the reality in this earth, no education status, no good reputation, no wealth, no spiritual.. screwed my own body up.. what more worse things are going to happen to me Lord? Are you gonna just sit and look? Lord, i don't mean disrespect Lord, but Lord if there is anything you want me to do, please.. show me Lord... show me the plans you have for me.. Cause if you don't.. then i am no difference to those who just proclaim in the name of Yours Lord jesus Christ but do the bad ways like before.

I can feel and see these giants, surrounding me from the ends of the earth, the presence and the future, waiting desperately just to devour me, to tear me apart, to seperate me from You Lord. And i can't do anything! I fake a smile everyday to show things looks right within me, but only You know that deep down inside i am so empty, i am so afraid, i don't know where i'll be at the next moment, and what's worse.. i can't even see you Lord, I can't feel you, it feels like you're gone.. but knowing the fact that you will always be there and nothing i can do to make you leave me..

Yes all these i know.. but Lord.. you know my needs.. you know it all... till the last breath i take from this planet, i am opening my arms wide... praying and hoping to see the plans you have for me... Please Lord, i can make no more mistakes in my life.. Lord... Please.. i pray.. i beg.. that you show me something Lord, If there is something you want me to do, show me how to do it Lord.. show me the plans Lord.. Won't you?


And Lord, you had better see this.

" There is nothing i can do to make you leave me" Right? Right?


Let me tell you Lord.


> THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO MAKE ME LEAVE YOU TOO. <

What a great day yesterday... Went down with lifegroup mates to IT fair... I got my iPhone with Jeremy & wei shun... Haha.. All three of us were in smiles! We just couldn't stop tapping on our screen.. White's nicer eh? Haha cause I got black while the both of them got white.. And I literally heard this mother sayin out loud " black colour not nice!! White nicer!!! " haha.. Na.. I'd prefer black colour.. It looks more classy and it dosen't get too obvious if there's marks on it. Anyway gotta thank ying ying alot! She paid for the phone first. But I'm paying her back later... I was just short of about 100 bucks.. She tempted me to get the 32 GB one!! Haha.. And she successfully tempted weishun to get the 32 GB too.. Haha!! Had a great day!! Beginning to love them more & more!! Now we're off to get some nice clothing for our phones!!! :D

I'm gonna sleep in the living room in another few days time... after all my sister's nonsense, i've persuaded her to come back home and stay rather then creating trouble outside.. but i've to sacrifice my room for her.. actually not sacrifice.. but.. well.. what to do... i'd rather she's back home.. then creating problems outside.. and in the end.. Dad has to clean up her shit..

I know dad only wants to see all his children everyday.. i know he works hard and comes back home tired.. but still can't see all his childrens... so i've decided to let my sis sleep in my room as i'll move out to the living room then.. don't wanna share room with my brother too.. i know he needs his privacy.. it's ok.. if i can sacrifice my privacy and convenience in my own cosy room up to let my dad be rest assured he'll see all his children everyday.. this little sacrifice is nothing at all..

As long as my dad's happy.. i'll be happy.. as long as one day i can do my dad proud.. that's enough.. i just want a peaceful family even though my biological mum may not be with us.. but i am blessed to have a stepmum. Thank God for her..

Lord, you know my needs.. you know my situation... you hold my everything in the palm of your hands.. you can shut doors that no one can open and you can open doors that no one can shut.. you hear my cry.. you hear my prayer.. i'm sorry for all i've done to hurt you... but Lord.. use me... use me to bring my family to you.. cause it's only through you.. i know my family will be in peace... Lord would you show me your ways.. show me how to do it Lord.. show me...

I know YOU are there... always there... when things go right.. i'll praise you.. and even if things go wrong.. still i will praise you.. Lord give me the strength to prepare my crops in the fields.. and when it's time and YOU send the rain.. i will be there to receive your blessings Lord.................................... shalom.

Yea man!! Can ya feel it? Tell me baby! Can ya seriously feel it?! Cause i'm feeling it... less than 30 days!! I'll be out!! Out of the cage!!! Yea man!! WOo LalaLAA!!!!! =D