♫ Sylvester

That saturday.. when pastor preached about family and stuffs... was all ok until when he mentioned that he met this girl.. and this girl could vividly remember how her mum left her when she was young.. that moment of time.. that moment of pain.. she could all still remember those scenes till this very age.. and it's so coincidentally.. happens to be like my situation too...

When i was young.. at about 6 years old.. things were getting so bad at home.. every night my grandpa would come up to scold my dad and stuff.. being a small boy at that time i didn't know what was going on.. just knowing that everyday was like... WAR.

Then one day.. when my mum left us.. my parents filed for a divorce.. that very day... i remember gripping onto the door grill with my siblings.. helplessly crying out loud and yelling.. begging and pleading my mum to come back home... but i could do nothing at all... only to see her back.. with her luggage and everything with her... as she slowly makes her way off.. from then on.. i've never seen my mum anymore... up till now.. i still remember how that gloomy day looked like... dad was almost drunk all the time... and i don't really understand or know what the problem was... only knowing that my dad worked so so so hard going through all the pain and tears to bring me & my siblings up.

Then Pastor told us to write to our parents a card.. as Mother's Day is like the next day... this is what i wrote on the card...



" My Dearest Mum,

  If i had the chance to ever see you again, i'd tell you everything that has happen after you left and how dad & the family is doing! Mum.. i never once blamed you for leaving us though it was really a heartpain to see you go but i could only cry helplessly behind the grills of the door watching you leave every step you take... i just wished things was better at that time.. i wished such things wouldn't have happened to our family.. Mum.. if i can ever see you again.. i hope i'll be able to tell you just how much i've missed you and how much i loved you. Since i was young i didn't really know what love was all about. I would wanna let you hear these words coming from my mouth.. I hope we would be reconciled.. though it's been more then 10 years already... Also Mum.. i really want to thank you so much ... that you were so great to have bore me in your tummy! I know i have the best Mum in the world... Thank you for being so strong to the point even when you're leaving us. Mum.. i appreciate it. I Love You. "

- SYLVESTER -


That was what i wrote on the card.. although i know in my heart... my mum will never get to see this card.. but i just felt like writing it down.. sometimes when i see a family outside... being together as one.. the love and the bond.. just made me question myself & God... " why couldn't i have that? " Why must i go through so much shit? " why can't i be like any other child that goes to school, study and get good grades to make thier parents proud?"  Well.. i guess things happen for a reason though... And i really think people out there who have a proper family should really appreciate their parents and honour them. Because they are just so lucky enough to have a proper family then a broken down one.. so PEOPLE !! CHERISH YOUR PARENTS! :D

Oops.. It's been AGES since i last updated blog... anyways.. i'm so looking forward to my ORD day! Where i get out of NS and start to pursue my dreams.. haha.. i realise i can't get into NAFA already.. cause at least i need a grade 8 to get in though... so too bad for my NAFA goal.. 

I guess i'll go towards plan B then! Go back to ITE.. get a qualifying cert and advance to Polytechnic then! haha.. I got a new ITOUCH!! Haha.. latest Generation... I Touch 3rd Gen 64GB!!!! haha..

Okays.. my eyes are like dying... i need to sleep... gotta  get up at 6 later to drag myself back to that undesirable camp. haha.. NIGHTS. =D

It's 1:15am now... had a great day with church peeps... today's CG was quite a big group.. haha.. glad to see it.. cause it just shows that everyone's serious! Haha.. worship was wonderful.. as i stand behind of everyone.. i see something different.. it's so spectacular.. you'll feel God's love..

Just went for another session of lasering few days ago.. was so painful.. and now it's having bubbles on it.. cause i told the person doing for me to adjust the intensity higher.. so that it penetrates deeper and disperse the ink hopefully my tattoos might be gone faster.. i could see some significance in the inks.. some even faded completely.. GONE.  guess it's because that part must be just up in the skin.. so it was easier for it to vanish.

God.. i really pray you'd use your hands to do miracle through the lasering.. i really pray you'd make it vanish faster.. since i won't wake up to see my tattoos COMPLETELY GONE the next day... Now that my SHAPE is being shaped out.. i guess i should find ways to execute it.. haha

Andy asked today if God layed down a dream for me before... i actually had this dream before.. to find people who play music.. and we compose our own inspirational christian songs.. that was what i really would like to do.. my dream... cause.. music seriously does wonders.. it is able to inspire you to do something.. Music rocks!

It's raining outside now.. as lightning flashes lights up my room.. i shall kiss myself good night and turn in.. sleep tight. GOOD NIGHT.  =D

Hi i'm back in blog.. & yes... today is my birthday! 12 august... well.. to me it's just pretty another normal day.. i never had the habit of celebrating my birthday though! Since very young.. haha.. Not like those who are able to invite like the whole world to celebrate! haha..

There's this Soap in the market which claims to be really good. In a matter of minutes your skin can be healed.. It's called Eumora Bar.
This is their website.. http://eumorastore.blogspot.com/
I'm quite skeptical about.. what do you think? Do tell me what you think after you visited the website.. I've got a friend approaching me that i can earn with it too.. i came across this kind of shit alot of times.. i don't know.. i would like to hear the opinions of all viewers.


Effects of the Eumora bar

- Tightens & closes up facial pores
- Heals acne, pimples, rashes, itchiness
- Lightens scars with prolonged use
- Remove blackheads & whiteheads without extractions
- Lightens pigmentation & freckles
- Reduce eyebags & dark circles
- Heals stretch mark
- Remove black marks due to deposit of dead cells
- Helps cure eczema problems
- Deep cleansing
- removes free radicals & toxins from your face, and replenishes it with the right nutrients
- Lift & firm (tightening) up the skin (Reduce appearance of wrinkles too!)
- Natural moisturising effect on your face after every wash
- Brings balance to skin
- oily skin becomes less oily and dry skin less dry
- Every wash rejuvenates your face like a 'spa' treatment
- Gives your face a natural, healthy pinkish radiance
- Makes your skin feel baby smooth and fairer
- Fast, effective & safe
- Works equally well as a shampoo and conditioner as it helps scalp become healthier and helps hair to become soft and shiny
- May also be used as an aftershave for a smoother shave
- Suitable for all skin types, even if you have ultra sensitive skin
- Save money on toner, moisturizer, facial & makeup!
- See RESULTS IN 3 MINUTES and continues to work on your skin throughout the day and until the next use!

WOW. It's been a long time that services really meant alot. Which really rings all bells in me.. It's great... So cool... cool people.. cool church.. makes me look forward to going church..... i hope i don't see many "stabbing from the back" thingy here!! And like putting up masks all around... though it didn't happen to me.. it just shows what motives these people go to church for too.. although no judging should be present.. as we're not perfect too.. but it's plain to see what's going on..

Ha ha.. i'm dying to go for my 3rd session of lasering.. maybe this week! haah.. although to what i see.. i might need more then 25 sessions to get everything off.. but.. i'll go through the pain for it... it's what i'm striving for my future.. it really do sucks to see your friends playing sports and stuff.. when i know in my heart that i just can't join in the fun. So that's why people if you think getting tattoos are really ok and stuff.. think about it again! Each and everything we do in our lives... brings consequences! Be it small ones or big ones.. it dosen't matter.. in the end.. the one that loses out... is ourselves.

Oh my.. when i saw her... seriously... i was like.. which angel shot that arrow to my butt!!!! WHICH ONE!? Ouch.. and now.. it's like.. wonder what she's doing! Oh my.. Gosh... haha.. everything she do is just like so cute! Although it's just a short period of time.. haha.. YOU WILL NEVER WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT. MAYBE IN 5 YEARS TIME. LOL! :D

God.. i feel so hypocrite.. and so shameful.. i know what's right and wrong.. but i just do wrong things.. knowing that your eyes are on me.. wherever i go.. whatever i do.. if only i could be as fresh like newborn babies once again... following "blindly"... i asked myself.. where were the times when i'm really serious about you... the miracles you've done in me where only i could see.. feel.. and understand it..

I'm so pissed again!! arghh... haha.. cause... i still have 8 more pathetic months to go! And i'm really really getting sick and tired... i can't believe i'm rotting my life away... Went for my 2nd laser session.. the next day.. it gets so so itchy.. and i can't scratch it... crap....

To those people who insist and fight that Tattoo Lasering will leave scars onto your skin.. i'm telling you right now... NO. Please slap yourself and say "No. Tattoo Lasering will not leave any scars" Unless you fiddle with it or super hard core scratch when it itch.. then that is YOU who made the scar... not the Laserings.

I hope my Tattoos fade faster... only God can do it.. and i pray He'll do it.. I need to be back in the Light... I'm like a angel with a Halo on top of his head.. yet a pointed tail protruding out from the butt.. I want to read the book called " When God Dissapears"!!! haha..

OK.. gotta go bath and sleep now... Damn office duty tomorrow!! Just to go back to camp to run and then go home.. what nonsense is that? What kind of policy is that? Is the one who made this an TOTAL RETARDED IDIOT? I think he is. For all his life. IDIOT.

YES. It's been a long while since angels brought me here.. well.. i've been training myself.. building my body! Woa! It's seriously cool to see your muscles taking shape and the tone of it! It just feels so fantastically SHIOK. But too bad.. it's now ruined by ink... how much i trained can never be as nice as a clean one.. but well.. it's ok..

Hurt my right rib cage though.. haha.. k not really hurt.. but spasm? haha.. Did too much of repititions.. never let my muscles rest.. lol.. It's ok.. that's what body building is all about.. OK.. when i say Body Building.. i don't mean really BODY BUILDING till like those freaks.. nono.. i dun wan to be damn muscular.. i just wanna have the tone.. cutting.. and make myself bigger.. not to the extend where it's like totally all muscle and i can't even scratch my back..

HAha.. i'll look very very awkward.. cause i'm short. WHATEVER!.... Haha.... Having 2 days MC! Bad Headache.. went to TTSH.. this girl sitting beside me was like so sick... in her uniform somemore.. came to see doctor... think she's from Ang Mo Kio Sec... So she was like so immobilise already.. i had to help her walk around.. as in like be beside her holding her la... haha..

Then take water for her somemore.. lol.. i was thinking why am i doing the job of a NURSE!? Where are those nurses!? Arghh.. whatever.. I guess at least it's something good to have helped people around me... ok man.. i'm going to take a short shower.. and i'm body slamming myself on my bed! :D

I'm feeling very sick now.. weak and breathless... God i need your healing hands.... will you place them on me? I'm a guilty man.. i play and stray away from you.. now that i need you.. i just treat like some kind of dustbin.... i seriously don't deserve any healing from God at all.. I'm ashamed... so ashamed....... now... i'm so sick........ God... don't leave me.. please......

Oh my gosh.. and yea today i had my first tattoo removal session.. did half of my leg.. and it's so painful. Billion times worst then putting it. It's like multiples of rubber band.. being pulled to their max.. and letting it off to snap onto you skin so hardly... GO TRY IT. You'll know what i went through.. arghh.. but i'm all to blame.. i created the mess for myself.. i clean it up..

After that went to cut my hair. Haha... quie professional.. nicely cut. Liked it! aha.. here is one of the picture taken in the process of Lasering.

I guess i still have like 10 more sessions to go? haha..


See those white spots? Those are the hittings of the laser.

Haha... when i was young.. i always liked to entertain.. perform for people.. even up till now in NS.. i could just turn on my music in my ipod.. amplify it with speakers.. and there i go.. i'd go dancing.. and singing as my colleagues would just sit down there and enjoy the shit that i'm doing.. at least time passes faster when i do the things i like! Haha..

I always dreamt of doing my own music video.. where i can dance... sing... beatbox.. do whatever i like in it.. every time i see people joining competitions.. getting successful in the areas they like to do... it's an achievement in your life time you don't regret... but since young... i went into the wrong ways.. and hence it cut me off my dreams... my decisions have now landed me into a state that i could never do what i love to do anymore..

I'm just like a lost disfigured star in the space... waiting for a miracle... or one day that i'll be able to break free from the chains.. and burst into the galaxy with glitters and shines & rainbows all over! So hoping for the day... and it looks like the picture below...

Arghh.. i really couldn't take my Migraine attacks and sleepless nights anymore.. this morning woke up with very very bad pain and exhaustion.. decided to go to polyclinic! And i think i wouldn't want to step in any polyclinic anymore.. it's worse then my camp's medical centre... i just said i've got abit of cough and runny nose only.. and they treated me like some kind of Swine Flu patient.. -.- HAhA! Wore still.. i went at the timing where it's lunch time.. how would i know it's their lunch time!!!!!???? I had to wait for 2 hours! Wa lao!!! So long...

So i was prescribed some pain killers and... SLEEPING PILLS! Oh my.. i never had sleeping pills before... LOL... wonder how it'll feel! So doctor gave me 2 days of mc.... Then i cracked a joke with the doctor... i asked him " Doctor.. how do i take the sleeping pills?" He said " By orally?" then i said.. " But the Pills are SLEEPING!" The doctor looked at me with this face... -.-.......

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

1. Maroon 5 - Won't Go Home Without You
2. Maroon 5 - This Love
3. Jason Mraz - I'm Yours
4. Santana - Smooth
5. Splender - I Think God Can Explain
6. Creed - My Sacrifice
7. We The Kings - Check Yes Juliet
8. Cupcake - I Will Survive
   

OK! Finally i'm done with the skins and tags.. haha! Thanks to Ye shen for the wesbite and Daphne for the tag board! Thanks! I feel so noob... arghh.. haha! Today's been ok for me.. just some little family problem that stopped me from attending CG. I'd love to attend and bond with the brothers.. I can't go to church for service this saturday again! Morning Duty... Arghh..